Men that we want

I want a man to lead me. Not to be my master, but to lovely show me the way when I get lost.
I want a strong man. Not to show me his muscles and how awesome he is, but to hold our kids and carry the groceries - a great father an husband.
I want a man to give me freedom. Not to leave me alone, not to safe me, but to stand by me, as I save myself.
I want a man to love women. Not to run after everyone he sees, but to worship his wife and his daughters.
I want a man to love the lord. Not only saying 'christian' on his papers, but to have god in his heart and his life. To be in a real relationship with him.
I want a man to talk to me. Not only about ''necessary things'', like when to attend the kids school events, but about how I feel and what he can do to change my day for the better.
I want a man to kiss me. Not to want my body all the time, but to kiss my mind.

I don't want the better guy. I want the guy, that makes me a better girl.

Lots of Love xoxo

That's subjective, Mr.

I bought a new dress for some very special occassions and a lot of people told me they don't like it. I still wore it, because I think it looks georgeous.
This situation made me ask:

Who sais what is beautiful and what is not?

Who are people around you to tell you if you can run around in this or that shirt or not? Who are people to tell you if what you said was stupid or not? Who are people to tell you you should weigh 58 kilos and not 70? How will the world change, if you will dress/look as others want you to? How will this change your life to the better? How can you ever live your inner self if you try to comfort others all the time?

Even if everyone except of you thinks your look/weigh/hair/nails/etc. are awful, you shouldn't change it. Why? Because YOU like it. And YOU matter. You is 

be -you - tiful

Don't you forget!

Lots of LOVE xoxo

God isn't in the fire, earthquake or wind. He's in the whisper.

If you pray and nothing happens, you may not listen to god.
With god it's like with people, it just fufills you if you have a good realtionship. You can have a relationship only by communicating.
Communicating with god does not only mean pray and talk to him, but also listen to him.

- Not only you need to tell god something. He has something to tell you as well. -

Most people thing god isn't there, because they don't hear him; but god does not always answer directly. Some ways god can answer your prayers and talk to you:

- You hear a voice in your mind.

- Through people in your life.

- In the scripture.

- In the church mess (e.g. the sermon, or even just the feeling you get there.)

- In the nature.

- Through silence.

Most people miss this one: THROUGH PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE.

There is a story of a man in a boat: There is a flood and everyone tries to find some safe place and the priest sits in his boat and waits. A man wants to help him, but the priest replies: 'I'm a god man, I'm waiting for god to help me.' And then another man comes, and another. The priest always answers the same way. Finally everyone is safe and the priest dies. In heaven he is very upset ans asks god, why he didn't help him & god replies: 'I send you 3 people to help you, but you ignored my help.'

Lots of Love xoxo

Testimony

Today I was at a prayer group and talked to some people, who told me their testimonies about how they became a Christian (I'm catholic). That made me things of some moments I felt God's presence. I wanted to tell you about some of them :)

1) When I was 13 I wanted a boyfriend SO bad. That was when I looked at my guardian angel picture I got for my baptism and started praying: Dear God, I want a boyfriend. I need someone to really, really love me and I want it sooooo bad. Please, give me a boyfriend.
One of the next days I was driving home from school and at the crossroads a boy crossed my path. He was on his bike as I was...I swear we looked in each others eyes for just some seconds..for the amount of time it takes you to cross the lights on your bike. And I swear again that it was this moment I fell in love. I didn't know his name, adress or anything about him. We didn't talk that day. And guess what? He became my first boyfriend in the end.
2) It was a thursday, 4pm. I needed to collect money for charity. I really needed this money and prayed 'God. Help me...Help me to get this money. And help me to notice you..through my environment: Moments, people, media..'  ..Then my mom came home and told me: Listen, you could ask the mayor for money.' I thought this was a good idea and looked up his phone number. In the internet I found this note: There is a citizens hour for every citizen to tell and ask whatever she or he wants every month. One hour, once a month. ...I was really upset and sad about that and then I saw it was the day. Thursday the 17th of June. And he was talking to people from 4.30pm - 5.30pm.
3) I needed an A+ to pass my final English exam..My grade before was an C-. Nobody believed in me: The principal didn't, my English teacher didn't, even my family secretly didn't (as they later on told me). And I prayed: God, please. Give me strength to not break down. Give me energy to learn. Send your holy spirit inside of my heart and give me an intelligent mind. Show me what I should learn and help me to learn it.
And guess whaaaat? I got an A+.
4) My boyfriend broke up with me and I was so sad, I got depressed. All my friends were there and my family was, but they didn't help, because my heart was aching so much. And then I met a new friend, who actually made me happy. He turned out to be a complete asshole. A big liar and cheater. I remember my best friend one day saying: I'm so glad you two were friends. He's such an asshole and a male slut, but he made you smile. It was obvious that he made you happy, when non of us couldn't.

Lots of Love xoxo

Struggling

Today I saw a video about the phrase 'Listen to your heart!' always suggested to people, who don't know how to act or what to believe. It sounds hopefully and is perfect if you don't know what to say.
But actually it's wrong just to listen to your heart, which is the centre of feelings, reason and will. Our heart often is influenced by our environment and not rarely do we want things, we know are stupid.

I think it's really hard to distinguish between 'real feelings' and feelings the mind creates. To be more concrete: Sexual attraaction often is a 'fake feeling' created by the liasion of some molecules inside of our brain. A 'real feeling' I lately had, was planing to move to Africa. I didn't really think about it for long..I didn't think of leaving everything and everyone behind, when I made that decision. I just started to react, as if I HAD to. I believe this is gods will.

So at the end of the video it was said, we have two hearts. One heart that is shaped by our environment and creates a whole lot of fake feelings and is full of our will. The other heart is full of gods will for us, it wants to be pure and provides real feelings for us. These two hearts are always struggeling with each other.

Which one are you going to listen to?

Lots of Love xx

Can time heal a broken heart?

I for myself can't answer this question with a clear 'yes!'. My first boyfriend and I were in a relationship for about a year and now it is already  3 years over. Still my heart is aching anytime I see him. The first year after the break up I couldn't even look at him, because it made me cry.
Sometimes I'm sad about the break up of a friendship with someone I could talk to about anything. The person suddenly stopped being carrying and didn't put any effort into being good friends.
I guess everybody could add something to this list of people we love and miss. People, we feel we need to make our life perfect. People, who obviously don't need us to be happy.

So will this broken hearted state of being ever change? I think time doesn't heal, but for sure teaches us a lot about life and ourselves..It teaches everyone of us how to handle the pain in a way, that's best for you. Don't freak out, if life sometimes throws you back where you already were once: In the bleeding area of your heart. ..Just try to survive the moment and go on. You are not alone.

Everybody feels pain. Our hearts are villages with houses full and empty. We still love the empty houses with their wild gardens and the smell of our beloved person in it. But we are heroes, because we can live on. I like to let god's grace be a sticking plaster for the ache inside of me.

Lots of Love xoxo

Don't let them define who you are!

The other day I talked to a girl, who said, she once was bullied in school for being ''different''. That made her lose her self-confidence and all along think about how ''different'' she is.
Nowadays nobody is bullying her anymore. She found a lot of great friends and is very beautiful and self-confident. It was hard to believe her story about being different. My answer to it was: ''At the age of 14 everyone is 'different'''.

There are a million stories like this. You could exchange the ''being different'' with being ugly, fat, thin, stupid, short, shy etc.

My answer to bullying is not ''Stop bullying!", because at some age and in some periods of life  it is normal and we all came or will come across this topic. My answer is:

- Stretch your middle finger to the world, to the world! ;-p -

We often enough take it to serious, when someone calls us something. We let ourselves define by what other people think about ourselves..If everybody thinks you are to fat, you start to think you are. 

I ask myself: Why?

What do you have from defining yourself through peoples eyes and words? Only disadvantages.

Sometimes people told me I'm naive. One day I started to believe them and with feeling naive I also got a feeling of being stupid. My self esteem shrunk and I began to see myself in a negative light. It even made me feel to fat and not beautiful or unique enough. Eventually my communicative state of mind switched into shyness.

Then I grew older and realized how self-destructive this was. I picked up the broken pieces of my self-confidence and glued them back together. A beautiful time of my life began. I tell myself everyday: ''You are beautiful, smart, simply awesome. You have a great body, mind and soul. You are unique, blessed, talented and loved. There is no other you that is THAT hilarious awesome and no other you at all!''

And guess what? I really believe I am and therefore everyone else believes it, too ;-) 

Surround yourself with positive energy and a positive attitude about yourself and life and it will surely affect your environment and especially the people around you! :-)

Have a great day.

Lots of Love xoxo