everywhere..

..is where i look for you. a crowded party - people dancing, drinking, laughing, talking, taking photos, having fun. i look around: so many potential lovers. maybe the love of my life, or at least my love of the summer.

but actually, the only person i would so much love to see at that moment and anytime is you, a friend.

i could have his wonderful kisses, but i just want your brotherly hugs.

i could have his compliment about how sexy every part of me looks, but i just want you telling me how i smell awesome.

i could have him telling me about our wonderful future with a house, garden, kids and pet, but i just want you to tell me we will do the best activity tommorow. and that could be even such a simple one like eating ice cream.

people want the world and success, diamonds and money. i just want to be friends with you, cause you are so special to me. 

Lots of Love xoxo

about the care of love & golden friendship

you're just so damn pretty and i hate it. it makes me even miss you more.
we still could be best mates today, but god, life and pride prevent us from being it.
maybe we never were real friends..although we had some endless moments of emotion. the kiss on the cheek after not hearing anything about one another for four month. crying over the hardships of life. gently touching - shoulders, back, arms, face.
still there always was something about you that made you seem a stranger.

but love does not care about circumstances or relationships, because love does not happen. love IS.

it just is there without being invited. it ca stay forever or leave as without us even noticing - it won't ask about staying or going.
i don't know where you're going and i don't know why, but all i know is that i miss you alot and i love you and i want to be your best friend and be a best friend to you.

Lots of Love xoxo

Men that we want

I want a man to lead me. Not to be my master, but to lovely show me the way when I get lost.
I want a strong man. Not to show me his muscles and how awesome he is, but to hold our kids and carry the groceries - a great father an husband.
I want a man to give me freedom. Not to leave me alone, not to safe me, but to stand by me, as I save myself.
I want a man to love women. Not to run after everyone he sees, but to worship his wife and his daughters.
I want a man to love the lord. Not only saying 'christian' on his papers, but to have god in his heart and his life. To be in a real relationship with him.
I want a man to talk to me. Not only about ''necessary things'', like when to attend the kids school events, but about how I feel and what he can do to change my day for the better.
I want a man to kiss me. Not to want my body all the time, but to kiss my mind.

I don't want the better guy. I want the guy, that makes me a better girl.

Lots of Love xoxo

That's subjective, Mr.

I bought a new dress for some very special occassions and a lot of people told me they don't like it. I still wore it, because I think it looks georgeous.
This situation made me ask:

Who sais what is beautiful and what is not?

Who are people around you to tell you if you can run around in this or that shirt or not? Who are people to tell you if what you said was stupid or not? Who are people to tell you you should weigh 58 kilos and not 70? How will the world change, if you will dress/look as others want you to? How will this change your life to the better? How can you ever live your inner self if you try to comfort others all the time?

Even if everyone except of you thinks your look/weigh/hair/nails/etc. are awful, you shouldn't change it. Why? Because YOU like it. And YOU matter. You is 

be -you - tiful

Don't you forget!

Lots of LOVE xoxo

God isn't in the fire, earthquake or wind. He's in the whisper.

If you pray and nothing happens, you may not listen to god.
With god it's like with people, it just fufills you if you have a good realtionship. You can have a relationship only by communicating.
Communicating with god does not only mean pray and talk to him, but also listen to him.

- Not only you need to tell god something. He has something to tell you as well. -

Most people thing god isn't there, because they don't hear him; but god does not always answer directly. Some ways god can answer your prayers and talk to you:

- You hear a voice in your mind.

- Through people in your life.

- In the scripture.

- In the church mess (e.g. the sermon, or even just the feeling you get there.)

- In the nature.

- Through silence.

Most people miss this one: THROUGH PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE.

There is a story of a man in a boat: There is a flood and everyone tries to find some safe place and the priest sits in his boat and waits. A man wants to help him, but the priest replies: 'I'm a god man, I'm waiting for god to help me.' And then another man comes, and another. The priest always answers the same way. Finally everyone is safe and the priest dies. In heaven he is very upset ans asks god, why he didn't help him & god replies: 'I send you 3 people to help you, but you ignored my help.'

Lots of Love xoxo

Testimony

Today I was at a prayer group and talked to some people, who told me their testimonies about how they became a Christian (I'm catholic). That made me things of some moments I felt God's presence. I wanted to tell you about some of them :)

1) When I was 13 I wanted a boyfriend SO bad. That was when I looked at my guardian angel picture I got for my baptism and started praying: Dear God, I want a boyfriend. I need someone to really, really love me and I want it sooooo bad. Please, give me a boyfriend.
One of the next days I was driving home from school and at the crossroads a boy crossed my path. He was on his bike as I was...I swear we looked in each others eyes for just some seconds..for the amount of time it takes you to cross the lights on your bike. And I swear again that it was this moment I fell in love. I didn't know his name, adress or anything about him. We didn't talk that day. And guess what? He became my first boyfriend in the end.
2) It was a thursday, 4pm. I needed to collect money for charity. I really needed this money and prayed 'God. Help me...Help me to get this money. And help me to notice you..through my environment: Moments, people, media..'  ..Then my mom came home and told me: Listen, you could ask the mayor for money.' I thought this was a good idea and looked up his phone number. In the internet I found this note: There is a citizens hour for every citizen to tell and ask whatever she or he wants every month. One hour, once a month. ...I was really upset and sad about that and then I saw it was the day. Thursday the 17th of June. And he was talking to people from 4.30pm - 5.30pm.
3) I needed an A+ to pass my final English exam..My grade before was an C-. Nobody believed in me: The principal didn't, my English teacher didn't, even my family secretly didn't (as they later on told me). And I prayed: God, please. Give me strength to not break down. Give me energy to learn. Send your holy spirit inside of my heart and give me an intelligent mind. Show me what I should learn and help me to learn it.
And guess whaaaat? I got an A+.
4) My boyfriend broke up with me and I was so sad, I got depressed. All my friends were there and my family was, but they didn't help, because my heart was aching so much. And then I met a new friend, who actually made me happy. He turned out to be a complete asshole. A big liar and cheater. I remember my best friend one day saying: I'm so glad you two were friends. He's such an asshole and a male slut, but he made you smile. It was obvious that he made you happy, when non of us couldn't.

Lots of Love xoxo