October 28, 2012

Pee. Are. A. Why. E. Are.

Pee Are A Why E Are - try to make a word out of this.

I'm just reading a good book about Prayer. It's wrote my Mother Teresa and Brother Roger from Taizé..it's a great book and I learn many things from it. But the words who seem so essential to me - and I think everyone should know - are those, from whom I learn so much. These are the words, which stick to my mind forever. It's a book about how to pray and what prayer is.. There are a lot of definitions of the word 'prayer' given. One of my favorites by now:

- Prayer shouldn't be something forced and exhausting, but a conversation with the father. -

This is something which helped me a lot. Prayer is a converstion. You talk to god, like you would talk to your father, mother or any beloved person of yours. There are situations in everyday life where I am just really exhausted..so I just go somewhere, to be totally alone and chill out. I don't talk to other people than and I wouldn't pray in that moments. So another thing I learned from Mother Teresa is what to do in exhausted moments.. Just chill out somewhere. Really, you need this.

... And then ask god:  Please god, you know me, listen to my heart..

You don't need big words or thoughts. Just chill out at let him hear your soul. This is one of the most relaxin' things I can imagine...you chill out with a kind of unexplainable peace in your heart. Just try it.


Lots of Love xoxo



October 26, 2012

self-therapy

Just to refer to my last post 'Be my fellow.' :


Lots of Love xoxo

Be my fellow.

- Lonely is a very dangerous thing to be. -

Today I was at our local food bank - it's a place, where homeless or poor people can go and get a warm meal at midday. I came about two hours before lunch was served, cause I wanted to visit someone.
So I sat there all alone in the big dining room - the ladys working there were preparing the food in the kitchen and nobody except of me was there, cause it was so early. I read a magazine and did my homework for school there. One hour before lunch started a man came into the dining room. I wondered why he is so early..it was just 11 am. He seemed to be middle aged (later he told me he's 65) and looked over to me many times. I bet he also wondered what I'm doing here so early or at all.
So to start the conversation I asked: "When is lunch being served here? At 11.30 or 12?" 12 o'clock he responded to my question. We started talking and he told me his whole life..He was married to a woman, with whom he had a 6 year old son, but who has left him. He's 65 years old and lives about 200 meters aways from the local food bank. Three years ago he had an operation in his upper arm, that's why he can't move his arm very good, has a crutch and can not cook on his own. Since his operation he comes to the local food service every day. He told me about his 6 year old soon, his kids from previous marriages and his neighbours. He asked me which school I attend and if I know any of his neighbours who are my age. I didn't know anyone, but that's not important.
The clock showed 12. A lot of people came in. Older people, younger people, couples, singles, friends, families. They all sat down at other tables. No one sat down at our table, the 65 year old man's and mine. Although there were about 15 or 20 chairs at this table, it was the biggest one in the whole local food bank. At all other tables there were just about 4 and 6 seats.
The man started to eat and I continued reading my magazine - I didn't want to eat anything, although the food there is very good. After some time - he was still eating - I had to go back to school. I told him where I'm about to go and goodbye.

On my way to school I thought about this afternoon at the food bank and the man at my table. I felt pity for him..he lives all alone and comes over for lunch every day just for company. No one sat down at our table. He came every day and no one talked to him. I don't know if it was, because I already sat there or if it was just these one day..I so much hope this was an exceptional day!

I feel happy to have talked to him. But although this was great often I feel very bad: Why so many people are alone? Why can't everyone just have someone to talk to? It's very unfair. When I'm in "my world" .. with my family and friends, surrounded by people I like, doing things I like I often forget about the poor, lonely people out there. I guess everyone does forget about them during his everyday life.

So..I just talked to the man for a short time. This hour has just been one of twenty four hours this day had..and talking was just a small gesture, but I think it has helped the both of us a lot. He was lonely, and I joined his loneliness. We were lonely together then. I will remember this talk for a long time, maybe forever. Not because of the things we told each other - they haven't been special. But because of this feeling of company. I made him happy that moment and he made me happy.

Everytime I have the chance to have a talk like this, share my life or any part of it like this, I do it. I try to be with the lonely people and I want you to do that to.
If you see a poor person give him something...food, a conversation or just a smile. They just want to be seen and know someone cares about them. They - lonely people. Maybe poor people, rich people, your next door neighbour, the person who seems to have no friends or the person who seems to have the most friends. Get to know them. And if there is a local food bank at your place, why don't you go there and just be with other people?

"This world will never be happy if anyone is lonesome."


Lots of Love xoxo

October 24, 2012

Grateful

I'm so tired of this long day. I found this prayer and smiled..seems directely speaking to me. Today I wanna be greateful:


Lots of Love xoxo
Have a nice day.



Bad Day

You know what I do, when I have a bad day? I cry, write and listen to that song.
First of all I cry and let my emotions to be free. Then I write down everything..my feelings, things that may help you, love, hate, ignorance, fear, anger, friendship, faith, hope. Last of all I listen to 'Bad Day' by Daniel Powter:

" Where is the moment we needed the most? You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost. They tell me your blue skies fade to gray. They tell me your passion's gone away. And I don't need no carryin' on! You stand in the line just to hit a new low. You're fakin' a smile with a coffee to go.You tell me your life's been way off line, you're fallin' to peaces every time. And I don't need no carryin' on! 'Cause you had a bad day. You're takin' one down..

You sing a sad song just to turn it around.

You say you don't know, you tell me don't lie. You work on a smile and you go for a ride. You had a bad day, the camera don't lie. You're coming back down and you
REALLY DON'T MIND.

...you had a bad day."

And it really helps. It helps a huge lot.

Lots of Love xoxo


..and I'll sing the Blues if I want!

Can't tell how much this song touched me. You're free to be whatever you wanna be and wherever you please.



Lots of Love xoxo

journey of life

all my friends knew what they wanna be in life since like .. ever. by 'what they wanna be in life' i don't mean, which job they wanna have, but the whole direction of their life.
spring, summer, autumn, winter, spring and summer again. the seasons were changing so fast and i still didn't know what to do with my life. she wanted be a doctor, he a maths man. they wanted to marry. another person's wish was to start a family soon and her friend wished to move out of this town.. and what about me? i was like: don't ask me.. CAUSE I DON'T KNOW!
ok. last year of school began. i was so afraid..school will end in twelve month and i will start the journey of life. i already have the tickets, see it clear in front of me. but where will this journey take me? which way to take? there's so many and nothing seems to fit me. my character. my talents (do i have even talents? i don't know.). i was thinking about these questions SO many times. no answer. i imagined myself in a lot of different jobs and life situations. i thought i could maybe be a doctor in future - but then i realized i hate biology. i wanted to move to another country, far away from where i'm now - but then i realized i'm a family person and need to stay right here with my family.
so all of my thinking doesn't show ANY results. i got frustrated and gave up thinking about my future. i just prayed: please god, show me the way.
you know..prayer's the best for all trials.

one day, a very long time after i gave up thinking about the future, i sat outside..just doing something. i don't remember what i was doing. but i remember that at one moment i lifted my head up ..like for NO reason, i just did it, cause i felt like doing it. and you know what i saw in front of me from the distance? elementary school.
this was the moment i knew what i wanna do in my life, which way i wanna take, where the journey will take me. i didn't think about jobs that moment at all. this school was ALWAYS near my house. it was there, since i was a little child. i saw it a hundred million thrillion times. but these one time it was different.. i looked at it and saw me in it. my future. it was a clear sighn. something i have ever known became a sighn. and i saw it.
from this moment on i know: i wanna be a teacher. i wanna teach children to write, read and just live. i wanna change people's lives.
it's like with the traffic lights: if you have any problems you get the red signal. just wait for some time and it will turn green without you doing anything. ps: you can reach everything you want to if you believe in it. this is not a stupid, always repeated sentence, but the truth. tired feet always say the path is long.


 - You will recognize your own path when you come
upon it, because you will suddenly have all the energy and imagination
you will ever need. -



This is for my cousin. he'll know. 
Lots of Love xoxo


love & tears

ever wondered about the connection of these two words?

- love.tears -

cause i did. often i think about how much love must be in a persons little heart..i read about love. hear about love. write about love. feel love.. sometimes, even if i feel like no one is responding to these love, it makes me cry. its like the more you love, the more you cry. 
maybe the beauty and huge presence of love in our own hearts just makes me cry. and maybe these tears are tears of love. i believe theres more love in ourselves than stars in the universe. in everyone. 


now, this has a meaning:
Lots of Love xoxo

October 23, 2012

maturity

I read this quote and it touched my heart, right where and how I was. Make up your mind on your own:

- Perfect maturity is when a person hurts you 
and you try to understand their situation and don't hurt them back -


Lots of Love xoxo


hopefull

Don't lose hope. What belongs to you will come home someday. It really will. 

Lots of Love xoxo

Why you do that?

Just can't understand why people always try to find everything out. I mean about the world. Why do you care what's behind the universe? Why do always say that things you haven't seen with your pair of eyes - and which no one has ever see - are a lie? Why do you want to know everything about all the world and what's behind? And if you may find it one day. How will you know that's what true? Why can't you just be happy?? Knowing exactely doesn't bring any effort. It doesn't even make you feel better on the long run. You know what's so much more important? Your dreams. Your dreams are what is true. That what's in your heart is true. Even if you can't see it, touch it, smell it. It's wonderful truth and you know.
Mother Teresa knew before;

- All that we need to know. All the wisdom of the Cosmos, we will find in our own heart. -

Take care of your heart being true and than everything else will become cristal clear.


Lots of Love xoxo

Echoes in my heart.

- Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. -

..like this advice is so short and so simple. Why don't you just be kind today? Tell people what you appreciate about them. And if you don't find the right words, just say: I love you..



Lots of Love xoxo