spring, summer, autumn, winter, spring and summer again. the seasons were changing so fast and i still didn't know what to do with my life. she wanted be a doctor, he a maths man. they wanted to marry. another person's wish was to start a family soon and her friend wished to move out of this town.. and what about me? i was like: don't ask me.. CAUSE I DON'T KNOW!
ok. last year of school began. i was so afraid..school will end in twelve month and i will start the journey of life. i already have the tickets, see it clear in front of me. but where will this journey take me? which way to take? there's so many and nothing seems to fit me. my character. my talents (do i have even talents? i don't know.). i was thinking about these questions SO many times. no answer. i imagined myself in a lot of different jobs and life situations. i thought i could maybe be a doctor in future - but then i realized i hate biology. i wanted to move to another country, far away from where i'm now - but then i realized i'm a family person and need to stay right here with my family.
so all of my thinking doesn't show ANY results. i got frustrated and gave up thinking about my future. i just prayed: please god, show me the way.
you know..prayer's the best for all trials.
one day, a very long time after i gave up thinking about the future, i sat outside..just doing something. i don't remember what i was doing. but i remember that at one moment i lifted my head up ..like for NO reason, i just did it, cause i felt like doing it. and you know what i saw in front of me from the distance? elementary school.
this was the moment i knew what i wanna do in my life, which way i wanna take, where the journey will take me. i didn't think about jobs that moment at all. this school was ALWAYS near my house. it was there, since i was a little child. i saw it a hundred million thrillion times. but these one time it was different.. i looked at it and saw me in it. my future. it was a clear sighn. something i have ever known became a sighn. and i saw it.
from this moment on i know: i wanna be a teacher. i wanna teach children to write, read and just live. i wanna change people's lives.
it's like with the traffic lights: if you have any problems you get the red signal. just wait for some time and it will turn green without you doing anything. ps: you can reach everything you want to if you believe in it. this is not a stupid, always repeated sentence, but the truth. tired feet always say the path is long.
- You will recognize your own path when you come
upon it, because you will suddenly have all the energy and imagination
you will ever need. -
This is for my cousin. he'll know.
Lots of Love xoxo
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