What is it, that you pursuit?

Whatever it is, you won't find it at any place in this world. Maybe you will have to leave the place you are at now to find it, but the truth is: It's not the place. It's your mind you should search. It's the mind to find things..to - see - things.

Lots of Love xoxo

Borderline

There are things in life we shouldn't do, although we would really want to. We want them, but we are rational...we know life would be better if we wouldn't do this things. There's a borderline between what we should and shouldn't do..
Everyone has these things. Either it's about a relationship, activity, principles or something else.

I always log my food - so I can control my calorie intake and keep my weight..For a very, very long time I stuck to this principle of mine. I wrote down everything I ate all day long and then clicked the 'Complete' button and finished eating for that day. And then, once, I crossed the borderline and didn't log all the food. Consequence: 1) I could have gained weight. 2) Main important: I was lying to myself. ..After this one time I stopped crossing the border. Another time - for a longer time - I crossed the borderline again. It didn't feel so bad all the time. Doing it more often made it feel okay, not wrong anymore.

Borderlines stop to feel wrong after crossing them over and over again. But they are wrong..They really are. We are just lying to ourselves. We say it's not so bad, but actually it is. That's why they are called borderlines, limits, boundarys, metes, edges, peripherys. That's why we shouldn't cross them.

- Borderlines are in our lifes for a reason. -

Find out why.

Lots of Love xoxo

..written in the scars on our hearts..

And then there are those songs playing in the background. You think they are just "okay" and then suddenly they touch your heart. Heal the scars.

Lots of Love xoxo

No matter what struggle!!

It's just a few words. But their power is a big one. Everytime I fail I know he is there to carry me. Better: I feel he is there.

I was so crazy to forget to read the scripture in the mornings. Just forgot it. My days were strange and I was wondering why. I couldn't wait for sundays and felt like there is something missin'.

It was God. He was missin'. He was there, in my heart, next to me. He always is. But I was ignoring him. Still I felt his blessings. I just missed talking to him.

Once you realize he'll never leave you, it's huge. It's amazing. The feeling. Security.-

.

Lots of Love xoxo

Summertime Sadness.

I don't think this song is so famous, just because it sounds so good or because Lana Del Rey is so beautiful. For me, already the title is precious and worthy. Everytime I listen to this song my hands get cold and I just want to shake. My heartbeat starts to beat in Summertime Sadness.
It's because I'm a winter person. I never understood...Being born in the middle of Summer, but loving Winter to much. I always loved things, other hated and didn't like the stuff other people liked.
Blue - the most famous favorite color. Realized as a kid, that all kids around me loved blue. Till then I didn't like it. The same with pink. I was a green kid and still am today.
House and Techno - at the age of 13/14 all of my male classmates started to listen to Techno and girls to House. It was this time, that I started to like Rap.

Summer - Everyone feels like summer is so beautiful. And I love it like every season. I love picking up strawberrys and doing bike tours accross the fields. It's just that so many peole don't like the cold temperatures and melancholic mood in winter. Winter is my top season..I love sitting there and watching Christmas movies under my blanket, cuddling my pillow. Makes me happy. I also love walking through the snow - at night. alone. at places, i'm alone. a ghostly railroad. I love buying ice cream then. My hands start to freeze..it's cold and they freeze so much, I want to cry. But it makes me happy.

I know why it is like this with the seasons. In Winter everyone feels alone..And I feel understood. We all share our lonesomeness in Winter. But in Summer everyone is so happy..I'm happy, too. But there are just some moments..when I'm alone walking in the fields..I feel so freaking alone on this world. And then there is noone to understand me. Everyone is having barbecue and having fun. I like to be melancholic sometimes. Feeling alone and really being it. Although I know alone is a dangerous thing to be.

Summer reminds me of my first love. Of the good and the bad. All the kisses and all the moments he left me alone. In the middle of the way.

Memories. Everyone has them. I wonder if there is someone to have beautiful, sad Winter memories. Is it, what artists are made of?

- Oh my god. I feel it in the air.

 Telephone wires above are sizzling like a snare. 

Honey, I'm on fire, I feel it everywhere. 

Nothing scares me anymore.

I'm feeli' electric tonight.

Cruising down the coast goin' 'bout 99.

Got my bad baby by my heavently side.

I know if I go, I'll die happy tonight.

I think I'll miss you forever.

Like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky.

Later's better than never.

Even if you're gone I'm gonna drive..drive..drive.. -

*

Lots of Love xoxo

♥

- With every heartbeat.

This statement automatically makes me think of the question: How much do you love it? Is remind remind you of quesions like: Do you love me? or How much do you love him/her? Do you miss her/him? 

Whatever occures inside of you, if you hear that sentence is a feeling. This three words sentence conjures up a feeling. To me a very strong feeling. The strongest. Love..And all of the feelings connected to love: Trust, Anger, Loss, Togetherness xo, Longing...

Although I have some negative feelings in mind the Longing is the strongest. I feel it's positive. It's positive to desire things, you love with every heartbeat. 

What do you love with every heartbeat? 

Just picture it, close your eyes and listen to the sound of your heart.

♥

Lots of Love xoxo

Love in a jar.

You know what my favorite words are? Thank you. 

They are so short, but so meaningful. Thank you for the big things. The gift of life, my family and friends, love. For living in a country with great economy and safety. But also thank you for the small things. Nice people, smiles, nature and the sun rise everday, snow, chocolate. 

I guess you can never be unhappy if you learn to say thank you. It's more a gift than just words. 

This week let us focus on using this word of kindness. Tell thank you to your perents, who gave you the gift of life and who care for you. Although you may face problems in this relationships sometimes, they love you. Tell thank you to your friends, cause they are there for you. No matter what, they are your friends. Tell thank you to people who keep the door open to you, people who let you take precedence at the supermarket. 

And why not make a jar and put all the things that make you smile in 2013 in it? Why not put all the things you want to remember into the jar? Good and bad. Happy and sad. Thank you's and please's. Pictures, small notes or a thought you have. Photos, small things.Anything. :)

This isn't my jar, but I found it on the internet:

Lots of Love xoxo